Tina Turner asks emphatically “what’s love got to do with it?” while describing the experience of feeling deep physical attraction to another. The song strongly encourages its listener to steer away from falling in love by remaining logical and detached. It suggests keeping love at bay as the preferred approach since love is nothing but a “second hand emotion.” If we keep something or someone at bay, or hold them at bay, we prevent them from reaching, attacking, or affecting us. Love is such a powerful force in life—when we feel it for another, we are vulnerable to both joy and heart break.

I believe cultivating self-love can be even more complex and complicated than the experience of loving another. Human beings are so often at odds within themselves due to regularly receiving mixed messages about how they need to be, look, and act. The lyrics of Tina’s famous song got me thinking about love—more particularly self-love. I have been curious about its influence in our daily lives, and have wondered about the intersection of self-love and body health.

In The Self Compassion Diet author Jean Fain lays out a road map for cultivating self-compassion while on a weight loss journey. She encourages her reader to cultivate a practice of asking “what am I learning on this journey” rather than solely focusing on the number on the scale. So far, I have learned that I’m not always compassionate and loving towards my body. I am much more familiar with getting caught in the paralyzing cycle of angry thoughts about my body’s size and shape and the ensuing feelings of shame and hopelessness, usually followed by eating and drinking.

I described in my last post the powerful moments I had on the Ganges River in the aftermath of experiencing extreme pain after injuring my knee while traveling through India. The Ganges was teaching me about the need to cultivate self-love practices. I define self-love as the act of creating regular practices that interrupt unhealthy ways of thinking and being that result in stress, suffering, and harm to our body.

Since my last post, I have had three injections of tirzepatide which is a medication designed to effectively regulate appetite and insulin levels. So far I’ve experienced minimal negative side effects. I am pleased with my rate of weight loss for the three weeks I’ve been following this protocol. I’ve learned how habitual a creature I am in relationship to food and alcohol. I eat and drink whether I’m celebrating or struggling. This medication has helped to lessen the physical cravings for food and alcohol. And each day I need to talk to the habitual voice that wonders when I will eat or drink next … preferably only when I am hungry!

I met with a sports medicine MD who was able to pull up my X-rays from five years ago and conducted an ultrasound on both knees at the same time he reviewed the films. He did not see that my knees are in a severely worsened condition and is optimistic about treating the arthritis and bone spurs in my knees without surgery. I had a new set of X-rays done and will have a follow up appointment with him this coming week. He also gave me a prescription for an anti-inflammatory non-steroidal medicine which has helped immensely. I didn’t realize how much anticipatory and real pain I lived with each day which generally left me feeling tired.

Our bodies give us cues every day as to how well or not well they are feeling and doing. It’s all about learning to trust those cues—our bodies communicate with us in particular ways. Our job is to learn to become familiar with the cues and to heed their message by listening and taking effective actions to help ourselves. These actions can lead to healing practices that become an integral part of our daily life. And it truly is living and learning one day at a time.

I am on a journey of discovering practices that will lead me to living in conscious awareness of self-love. All that I am currently doing are steps towards health, well-being, and sanity!

Namaste,

Kathleen